


although our hands are empty

by seiryou52 (differentialrelu)



Category: Toaru Kagaku no Railgun | A Certain Scientific Railgun, Toaru Majutsu no Index | A Certain Magical Index
Genre: AAA deserves its own character tag, F/F, Gen, misaki deserves a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29857758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/differentialrelu/pseuds/seiryou52
Summary: Shokuhou Misaki is stuck in a time loop, and Misaka Mikoto will always die to save her. [Based on NT22r.]
Relationships: Misaka Mikoto & Shokuhou Misaki, Misaka Mikoto/Shokuhou Misaki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	although our hands are empty

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [尽管我们的手中空无一物](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/771099) by 苏我. 



> TW: Character death, gore, mentions of suicide ideation.  
> Spoilers: NT11, NT22r.
> 
> Translated and posted with permission from [the author](https://sogaemisa.lofter.com/).
> 
> A re-imagining of NT22r. I think the story works well as a stand-alone piece, but familiarity with the general context won't hurt. 
> 
> I really enjoyed reading the original fic. Hopefully, my translation managed to do it justice.

  


  


**00.**

“Shokuhou.”  
The boy in tuxedo smiled. He was like a flower with thorns.   
The other boy’s right arm shone in sky-blue and lime-yellow. He did not remember her. 

“Which one do you think is the real Kamijou Touma?”

Her defenses crumbled. She could not acknowledge this; she could not acknowledge herself. Still, she was unable to make the right choice.

“Shokuhou…?” The girl next to her said hesitantly, slowly turning towards her, “Shokuhou, you’ve got to be kidding. You can’t-!?”

The girl named Shokuhou was driven to the cliff’s edge and was but a step away from the abyss. She willingly took the final step.

“Sorry,” she cried, “he remembers me…no matter what he is like, no matter what he wants to do…”   
She bit her lip.  
“He is the Kamijou Touma who spent that summer with me! So I’m sorry, Misaka-san!!!”

Her powers spiralled out of control.

Under Shokuhou’s command, Misaka Mikoto activated the weapon called A.A.A. In a split second, the suit reverted from a block shape into its original form, transforming into that of a metallic-winged devil and engulfing the girl in the blue dress.

She was supposed to crush the other boy.

And yet.

Her mechanical arm open-fired at the tuxedo-wearing boy instead. Ignoring Kamijou and Shokuhou’s surprise, the girl and weapon continued their assault. No, all actions were directed by the A.A.A. itself, as it was impossible for the girl who remained bounded by Mental Out to be conscious now. In other words, before Misaka Mikoto succumbed, she had programmed the A.A.A. to attack the boy in tuxedo.

Shokuhou could have used this to change her path.

But.

“Help me, Shokuhou!” He pleaded. 

And so, the girl was unable to make the correct decision.   
She pointed her remote at the silver-haired sister.

“Stop Misaka-san! Hurry!”  
“John’s pen.”

Chilling magic circles emerged from the depths of the sister’s eyes. In the dress of a fairytale princess, Index moved without a hint of life.

“Unauthorized contact detected. Response level: top priority. Eliminating all suspects to restore security stability.”

That was a taboo that no one should have touched.

Shokuhou Misaki reached for the cheap emergency whistle that she refused to throw away, despite understanding that at this point she herself was no longer important. But really, it was a useless whistle. No matter how loudly it sounded, no one would come rescue her.

She, who was wrong from the start, introduced the opening act to an uncontrollable ending with her very own hands.

The honey-blonde girl leaned against the wall in silence. In front of her was the sight of hell on earth, a world beyond the interference of her and her abilities. Even though she was the one to open its gates, there was nothing she could do but watch now.

With one side in a blue evening dress and the other dressed in the style of a storybook princess, the girls unconsciously exchanged lethal strikes. The embodiments of magic and science surrounding them spanned and ceaselessly clashed in the wide space. Any stray shot can easily take Shokuhou Misaki’s life, yet for some reason she remained unharmed. She simply stood, watching. 

Then, she saw it.

The girl she knew well. The girl - her lifelong rival, the one who gave her complete trust and was betrayed in return - fell from the sky.

“No…” Shokuhou Misaki held her hands over her chest and clutched onto that whistle, meaninglessly, with all the strength she could muster.

A pure white beam shot through that girl, exploding the side of her soft body with a burst of blood that scattered through the air with mechanical scraps. The force penetrated the castle walls, blasting her and her weapon out of the dance hall. When the walls collapsed, the girl was gone.

“How, can this be…?” Shokuhou trembled, even though she knew full well that the two had fought unconsciously to kill. In shock, her legs gave out, and she slumped onto the floor.

“Misaka-san…”

  


* * *

  


**01.**

She lost control.

Misaka Mikoto’s eyes were dyed Shokuhou Misaki’s color. Within seconds, the A.A.A transformed into a slaughter machine that engulfed the girl’s small body and rabidly fired at Kamijou Touma, unstoppable even when she took over the silver-haired sister. Against her efforts, the situation only descended further out of control.

Shokuhou Misaki could only watch. She watched as the familiar chestnut-haired girl got pierced by the pure white beam, as her blue dress became stained by the offending color of blood, as her body plummeted from the sky with mechanical scraps.

Can’t be stopped.

Can’t be controlled.

Can’t be reversed. 

  


* * *

  


**02.**

Out of control.

Hell on earth.

Slaughter.

The girl punctured by the ray of light.

Blood, scraps, explosion.

A world returned to silence.

  


* * *

  


**03.**

“He is, the Kamijou Touma who spent that summer with me…”  
The sobbing girl dully read her rehearsed line, as if she were an actress adhering to a script for a stage performance.

No.  
Something’s wrong.  
The girl furrowed her brows. There was something jarringly out of place. But what?

With zero surprise, she watched Misaka Mikoto get shot out of the sky.

What is…going on?

  


* * *

  


**04.**

No.

  


* * *

  


**05.**

Something’s wrong.

  


* * *

  


**06.**

“Shokuhou, you’ve got to be kidding. You can’t-!?”

“Help me, Shokuhou!”

“…John’s Pen.”

The girl silently stood at the corner, unharmed despite being in hell on earth.

Yes. She had been through all this - _the girl in the blue evening dress fell from the sky like a broken doll, her blood raining onto the ground soundlessly_ \- she no longer needed to show surprise.

  


* * *

  


**07.**

“Shokuhou, let’s finish this, in the way you’re most familiar with.”   
The boy whose body flashed in shocking pink and emerald said to her.

Shokuhou stared at him in a daze. A hint of uncertainty lurked in her starry eyes, not because she could not distinguish between the boys who looked like Kamijou Touma, but because everything felt too familiar. It was like walking down the same path and not getting lost without active memorization, like understanding what others say in Japanese without thinking.

The words escaped her. 

“I can’t…”

“What?” 

The boy in tuxedo looked in surprise at the girl, who was taken aback herself.

“She will die…that’s why…” 

Shokuhou couldn’t continue. What did she want to say? Who is going to die? That’s why what?

“What are you talking about?”

The boy who was like a flower with thorns smiled, eerie pink flashing at the corner of his mouth, “I won’t let anyone die.”

The girl looked at him.  
Eventually she let out a breath. Once again, she raised her remote, and walked towards Misaka Mikoto.

  


* * *

  


**08.**

She had a splitting headache. Not from sickness, but from the clashing pieces of information that clouded her mind, to the extent that she could no longer tell apart memory from hallucination.

“Shokuhou.” 

The boy called her name. Whatever miracle was involved, Shokuhou no longer cared. It was like watching a film over and over again and having memorized each and every detail. No matter how touching a scene, it was impossible to conjure the same emotions as if experiencing it for the very first time. 

“I know,” she said.

Standing in front of Misaka Mikoto, she subconsciously frowned. There were no more tears to be shed, no more apologies to be made. She only stared at the face of the chestnut-haired girl, and her eyes which were tainted in Shokuhou’s colors.

“Misaka, san,” she muttered. 

All of a sudden, scenes flashed before her eyes. While they depicted the same thing, she understood it was many instances of the same…the same what?

Shokuhou held onto her head. Her remote fell to the ground, leaving a sharp noise as plastic met the marble surface. She shook uncontrollably. Even with her eyes shut, she could not stop the memories or hallucinations from invading, and they tormented her brain that was at the edge of breakdown. One after the other, the images were all about the girl in the blue evening dress punctured by the pure white beam, whose bloodied body accompanied by A.A.A.'s scraps vanished from Shokuhou’s sight.

  


Blood, blood, blood.

Misaka Mikoto’s blood.

  


This kind of situation…

She…

She! 

She never wanted to see anything like this again!!!

  


Tokiwadai’s queen, ranked fifth in Academy City’s seven Level 5s, once again lost control. The scale of the unleashed power was smaller compared to when she had turned against everyone just to stand by the boy’s side, yet it was sufficient to trigger the untouchable. 

“…John’s Pen.”

Familiar, or unfamiliar? What was that voice? As soon as she heard it, Shokuhou knew she had opened the gates to hell. Despite understanding its futility, she subconsciously took a step back.

Misaka Mikoto, who just a while ago blushed over her dress design, was pale and expressionless. She felt no shyness, no nervousness, no fear. The girl just stood there, unmoving.

“Unauthorized contact detected. Response level: top priority. Eliminating all suspects to restore security stability.”

Following the silver-haired sister’s proclamation, three swords that looked as if they were forged with light particles manifested around her. She did not grab onto them, as they will automatically destroy every enemy on sight.

The sword of Freyr.

Perhaps out of recognition that Shokuhou Misaki did not pose the highest threat, two of the swords targeted the tuxedo-wearing boy, and the third aimed at Misaka Mikoto who stood adjacent to the sister.

“Help me, Shokuhou!” The boy pleaded. 

The girl could neither turn around nor pick up her remote in time. 

  


Blood.

A torn arm sent flying in the air.

The chestnut-haired girl who could not feel pain.

Misaka Mikoto’s splattering blood that stung Shokuhou Misaki’s face.

  


The God of Victory’s sword continued its assault.

The chestnut-haired girl collapsed in silence.

And Shokuhou Misaki could not let herself watch any longer.

  


* * *

  


**09.**

_She is stuck in a time loop._

It was unscientific, but Shokuhou Misaki thought it anyway. Time was circular, and so was her experience. 

Every loop ends with Index killing Misaka Mikoto. Once the girl dies, everything resets, including her own perception of the world. For better or worse, the memories that she was supposed to leave behind have caught up.

Each cycle seems to be shorter than the previous one. At first the round began from before her powers went on rampage. Slowly, though, it starts when she is walking towards Misaka Mikoto, preparing to use her to attack the boy whose right arm radiated sky-blue and lemon-yellow. 

Shokuhou wasn’t sure whether the others were as confused as she was. Judging by their reactions, no one else felt anything about the closed loop. The boy in tuxedo was picking his food from the dining tables, with nothing out of the ordinary reflected in his expression. From time to time his body flashed in shocking pink and emerald. 

Shokuhou Misaki knew he was not the real Kamijou Touma.

She had known from the beginning. She simply failed to make the correct decision, and now she no longer had time to waste on the boys. While she had yet to fully grasp what was happening, she knew that she didn’t want to watch the girl die again.

Based on the memories that appeared in her brain, she cannot control Index, as the girl’s defense mechanism will break through Mental Out and turn the silver-haired sister into a slaughter machine. She also cannot control Misaka Mikoto, because she programmed A.A.A. to attack the boy in tuxedo in advance, and Shokuhou’s ability did not work on inanimate objects. 

No matter what, she must not attempt to control the sister. Those experiences taught her that, unlike Misaka Mikoto’s case, John’s Pen does not have a specific target; Index will simply attack everyone on sight.

And so it was. In this never-ending game of chess, the girl Shokuhou wanted to save was the only piece she had left.

There was no one else to rely on. She must make the right choice.

“Shokuhou,” called the boy.

Shokuhou didn’t look at him, and walked straight towards Misaka Mikoto. The girl in the blue dress was expressionless. Her eyes were empty, save for the starry pattern that proved she was under control. 

“Misaka-san…” Shokuhou raised her remote and felt the weight in her heart. In a small voice inaudible to the boy in tuxedo, she said, “please.” 

While the girl’s body stayed unanimated, with a burst of mechanical noises, her deadly weapon rapidly engulfed her. A.A.A. accepted its pre-programming and began functioning automatically. Moving past Shokuhou, its raised robotic arm targeted the only boy present in the hall.

“Shokuhou!!” The boy yelled angrily, having evaded the initial strike.

Shokuhou knew the boy expected this, which was why he was able to dodge the attack. It used to be an accident, back when she did not know Misaka Mikoto managed to preset commands to the A.A.A. the instant she succumbed to Mental Out. But now…

The honey-blonde girl said nothing. She stood aside and watched the chestnut-haired girl charge against the boy while piloting the A.A.A.

“You betrayed me?!” Kamijou Touma looked incredulous.   
“I…” Shokuhou’s heart sank. 

Despite her conviction, despite the fact that she can now force herself to make the correct decision, she could not bear to look at the boy’s familiar face. Reluctant to witness the impending one-sided slaughter, she lowered her head. 

Yet.

With a sound akin to that of children unwrapping presents, sinister pink and emerald light surrounded the boy’s right arm. His shirt and sleeve bursted open, revealing an inhuman form. An array of colors danced on the inflating muscles, until the boy took the form of a dragon.

A monster.  
Shokuhou tremored.  
The monstrosity that used to be a boy opened its crocodile-like mouth and let out a beastly roar.   
Its target was the girl who betrayed him.

Misaka’s face was pale and emotionless. Faithful to its owner’s programming, the A.A.A. unleashed its energy. But there was much it could not comprehend - the pain of loss, the way to protect someone, the fragility of human life. The pink and emerald monster hurled its tail against Misaka, pushing her aside.

Revenge happened in the matter of seconds.  
The dragon’s claws swung at the honey-blonde girl with no hesitation.

  


* * *

  


**10.**

“Shokuhou, let’s finish this, in the way you’re most familiar with, ” she heard the boy say.

She walked towards the girl, and stood before her in tears. She didn’t know why she cried, didn’t know why just looking at the face of the girl alone brought suffocating pain, didn’t know why she chose to stand on the side of the false boy in the first place.

Unable to say anything, she pressed her remote.

The girl morphed into a devil of metal and fired at the boy in tuxedo.  
Panicked, she tried to control the silver-haired sister, but it only served to complicate the chaos.  
It was hell on earth, yet she remained unharmed.   
Silent, she stood in the corner, as if she had nothing to do with the world.

Wrong.

Something was wrong.

A pure white beam.  
A chestnut-haired girl falling from the sky.  
…death. 

She opened her eyes.

Shokuhou Misaki remembered.

She died once.

What she is experiencing now is but a single loop out of many.

It’s not over yet.

It can’t be over yet.

  


* * *

  


**11.**

Shokuhou Misaki once again stood in front of Misaka Mikoto. To her back was the boy, picking from the delicacies laid out on the dining table.

This time, she decided to undo her mental control over Misaka Mikoto.

The honey-blonde girl pressed firmly on the remote. 

Like a drowning person who was pulled out of the water, the girl in blue evening dress opened her eyes and sharply inhaled. The starry patterns belonging to Shokuhou vanished from her eyes, a testament to the girl’s reclaimed consciousness.

At the sound, the boy in tuxedo realized something was wrong and turned around immediately.

“Misaka-san!” 

Without enough time to explain, Shokuhou could only call the girl’s name.

“I don’t know what’s happening, but all we need to do is beat him up right?” 

Accompanied by a series of mechanical noise, A.A.A. shifted its form and covered the girl’s body. The corner of her mouth quirked up and there was a hint of joy to her voice. As Misaka piloted the A.A.A. to charge at the boy, she shouted at her companion, “Shokuhou, you better explain this after it’s all over!”

“No problem,” Shokuhou smiled without realizing it, for the first time in the countless cycles. To be able to hear Misaka Mikoto’s energetic voice again was like a miracle in and of itself. 

With no time to feel angered by Shokuhou’s betrayal, the boy in tuxedo took the form of a giant lizard and let out a roar with its crocodile-like mouth.

Misaka Mikoto furrowed her brows slightly. A giant nail gun, one of the weapons in A.A.A’s arsenal, launched towards the dragon’s wings and limbs. Despite the circumstances, she remained reluctant to take lives, opting for a tactic to limit the opponent’s mobility.

The monstrosity that radiated pink and emerald twisted its body to evade the projectiles. Having dodged the attack, it embedded its claws in a nearby table and swung it with a thundering roar. 

Misaka froze for a split second. Then immediately, she gave up her offense and drove A.A.A. towards the opposite direction as fast as she could.

Its target was not Misaka, but the ceiling.

The table struck the gigantic chandelier above. Crystals that weighed over two hundred kilograms swayed dramatically on impact, before plummeting towards where Shokuhou stood. Even in the absence of a direct hit, the shards alone were enough to kill. 

A.A.A. charged at Shokuhou at full speed. The pilot was unable to speak; her eyes were red, and she was at the edge of suffocation from the air resistance pressing against her.

Before tragedy could happen, the girl reached the other in a tight embrace. The two stopped at a short distance away just as the chandelier crashed onto the marble floor, bringing a loud boom and a storm of imploded crystals. Released from the extreme pressure, Misaka finally let out her breath, and gently put Shokuhou back on the ground.

“Thank goodness-“  
“Misaka-san, at your back!!

The girl immediately turned to get ready, but to no avail.

A lean dragon tail pierced the side of her chest. As it withdrew, a mix of her blood and organ fragments splattered across the place. 

The girl turned rigidly towards the person she saved. She opened her mouth, but nothing can be heard. Then, the body with a gaping hole in its chest collapsed, and with it fell the pieces of useless metal scraps that once constituted a lethal weapon.

“Why…”

Staring blankly at the girl’s corpse, Shokuhou trembled as she stood back with a twisted expression and broken voice. Her tears spilled on the ground, blending with Misaka’s blood.

“Why did you die in front of me over and over again? I never - “

The dragon’s claw sliced through the air with a piercing howl.

Shokuhou’s world returned to darkness.

  


* * *

  


**12.**

Why? 

  


* * *

  


**13.**

Why!?

  


* * *

  


**14.**

Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why!?

  


* * *

  


**15.**

Misaka Mikoto will always die.

She will always die protecting Shokuhou Misaki.

  


* * *

  


**16.**

In this never-ending cycle, Shokuhou Misaki can never give up.  
She must not give up.  
Because she’s the only variable left in this world.

“Shokuhou, watch out!!” 

Yet, no matter how she hides, no matter how she helps Misaka, it always regresses to this moment. Misaka will die to protect her, and Shokuhou herself will be torn apart by the dragon’s claw. Just like destiny.

This time, though, the situation seemed slightly different.

When she reached Shokuhou, Misaka suddenly showed a confused expression. Swiftly, she pushed away the girl in her embrace. As if she knew from which angle the strike would come, she turned unnaturally and managed to dodge the assaulting tail. The dragon’s scales burned past her waist, scorching the blue dress and the girl’s skin in its wake. 

She ignored the blistering pain and turned as quickly as she could. No longer holding back, the arsenal that enveloped her body pointed towards the boy in dragon form: bullets, lasers, nails…and railgun. The myriad crystallizations of science fired at the beast of pink and emerald skin. Anguished, the monster let out an inhuman roar, but it did not give up. Instead, it charged towards the girl once more in full speed - 

At the end, the boy who reverted to human form and the girl covered with injuries collapsed simultaneously.

  


“Misaka…san?” 

With faltering steps, Shokuhou stumbled towards Misaka and kneeled beside her. At their side, A.A.A. returned to its block shape and went into stand-by mode under its owner’s commands.

Shokuhou’s hands were trembling. 

She did not know what to do. In her heart she wanted to hold the other close in her arms, but there was not an unscathed part of the girl’s body to be found. Blood flooded from the innumerable wounds. She was terrified of doing anything that would cause the other any more pain.

“Misaka-san, I…” 

Shokuhou thought she had no more tears to shed.

Misaka raised her hand and gently touched Shokuhou’s hesitant one that was frozen in fear.   
And so Shokuhou, like she never intends to let go, held tightly onto the other girl’s bloodied hand.

“For some reason, this doesn’t feel like the first time…” 

Seemingly no longer able to register pain, the chestnut-haired girl smiled, forcing her eyes to refocus in order to better look at the person before her. As her body quivered, she suddenly coughed blood, the dark red of the liquid staining her evening dress and burning into Shokuhou Misaki’s eyes.

At last, the girl’s broken body began convulsing. Her voice grew weaker, her speech slurred. Blood continued to spill from her mouth.

“Shokuhou…” 

In the very last moments of her life, she called the other girl’s name.  
Then, as if reaching an epiphany, she said something that surprised even herself. 

“I never knew…”

“You mean so much…to me…”

“…”

The girl ceased to breathe, but her gaze was still directed at Shokuhou Misaki.

Shokuhou bowed her head. She could only hold ever so tightly onto the hand that retained the girl’s warmth.

Even now, she did not know what was the key to breaking the cycle.  
This loop might be the one with the most changes out of all she had experienced.   
Which meant, this round could be the very last one.  
Shokuhou’s lower lip had been bloodied by her own bite.

But.

This was also the first time she wished the ceaseless cycle would continue.

Even if she had to pray.   
Even if she had to give up her own life. 

She was trapped in an inescapable terror.   
She hated this unending loop.   
She never wanted to see the girl die again.

But. 

As long as she was stuck in this cycle, she had a chance.   
As long as she waited for the next iteration, she can hear the sound of Misaka Mikoto’s heartbeat, she can feel the other girl’s pulse.   
Regardless of the ending, until the very final moment arrives, Misaka Mikoto can live. 

She still thinks she can change the ending.  
She still thinks she can return smiling with Misaka Mikoto, who annoyed her to no end with everything she did. 

In this never-ending world, Shokuhou Misaki must never give up.

And still. 

Still. 

She could not bear the pain that threatened to completely overcome her.  
The dance hall, a place meant to be filled with music and joy, reverberated with a girl’s anguished cries.

  


* * *

  


**17.**

The cycle was not over yet.

She felt a wave of inexplicable relief wash over her. 

However, the loop’s duration shortened again. 

When she regained consciousness, the gates to hell that was John’s Pen had already opened. Dark red magic circles chillingly manifested from the depths of the silver-haired sister’s eyes. 

“How…” 

Shokuhou could only watch the chestnut-haired girl and silver-haired sister clash lethally in mid-air. 

When Misaka Mikoto is unconscious, she will always be killed by Index in rampage. Without its owner’s orders, the automated A.A.A. is nothing more than a mechanical suit. But, if she deactivated her control over Misaka now, the girl will stall temporarily because of the memory gap. In the battle between those two, any hesitation could only mean death.

What else can she use?

Shokuhou bit her thumb anxiously. As her starry eyes grew tainted by the color of despair, the unconscious girl was shot out of the sky by the pure white beam, and time reversed once more.

  


* * *

  


**18.**

_…How many times has it been?_

How many times was Shokuhou Misaki forced to watch Misaka Mikoto fall from the sky? 

She had even grown accustomed to the spraying blood from the girl’s body, to her hands covered in the girl’s blood, to her own death, to submerging in despair, to the mess in her mind, to sobbing, to the seemingly endless pain in her heart.

The only thing that she could not get used to was the sight of the girl plummeting from the sky. No matter how many times, she…

The dance hall was left with silence as the walls collapsed.

Shokuhou sharply bent over, covering her mouth to force herself from throwing up.

_She’s..._

  


* * *

  


**19.**

Even if it’s just for a moment.

She wanted to hear her voice.

> _“Shokuhou.”_

She wanted to see her smile.

> _“Really, I’m relieved to learn that someone like you can screw things up too.”_

She wanted to look into those clear eyes.

> _“You’re probably the only one in Tokiwadai who would speak with me this frankly.”_

She wanted to…

> _“Who do you think I am?”_

She wanted to run away. 

  


* * *

  


**20.**

Sorry.

  


* * *

  


**21.**

The honey-blonde girl in a lavish evening dress stumbled.

_She’s…_

It was as if she could not see the hellish battle in front of her. The chestnut-haired girl and silver-haired sister were engaged in meaningless lethal combat. 

_She’s sick of watching that person die._

Everything happened in a matter of seconds. As she trudged forward, a ray of blinding light blasted towards her. She saw it coming, but rather than making a sound or moving out of the way, she waited in silence. Perhaps she wanted to be hit by that stray shot. She should have died like that, quietly, like the girl who she wanted to save, the girl who was always shot down from the sky without a word. 

But.

“Shokuhou-!!!” 

It was Misaka Mikoto’s voice.  
The voice that Shokuhou desperately wanted to hear again.  
And so she raised her head and turned towards the other girl.

Misaka was furious. She glared, beyond infuriated at the sight of the girl who refused to save herself. This time, she was not struck by Index’s beam. She evaded the strike in movements far more fluid than the sister’s; the metallic suit which covered her was adjusting to her needs, letting out mechanical noises that seemed to be welcoming its owner’s return.

Yet, it was too late.

The energy smashed into Shokuhou. Her flung body came crashing onto the ground, blood seeping from beneath it. She stopped breathing.

This time, Misaka Mikoto was not shot down from the sky, but Shokuhou Misaki died.

This time.

  


* * *

  


**22.**

At every round, the clock would reset with Misaka Mikoto’s death. As with Shokuhou Misaki’s.  
The truth is, everything is changing at each cycle, especially the decreasing duration.   
There was only one thing that had never happened.

That is, the survival of both Misaka and Shokuhou.

Maybe they must both survive.  
Maybe they mustn’t give up.  
Maybe she can’t give up.  
Maybe she hasn’t given up.

A new option emerged from the ever shortening iterations.

The girl had a crazy idea.

There was no time. She would try anything.

_In order to make the next loop the last._

She has to believe. For her, for them.

  


* * *

  


**22 Reverse.**

Everything happened in a split second.

The girl walked towards the beam that fired at her. At the very last moment, she twisted her body at an odd angle to avoid getting hit in the most vital areas, as if she understood what damage the beam of light could do.

Yes, she knew.

The girl’s body was sent crashing onto the wall, scathing her forehead and the side of her body. Fresh blood oozed from her wounds. She almost passed out, even though the damage was reduced.

But she began to smile. 

Because she saw it - the eyes of the other girl who was engaged in mid-air combat.  
The brown eyes were no longer dyed in Shokuhou Misaki’s color.   
The war zone between the chestnut-haired and silver-haired girls slowly gravitated away from Shokuhou’s position, an indication of Misaka’s efforts to lead Index away. 

This time, she can finally use her full strength to join A.A.A. in their fight against the rampaging John’s Pen.  
This time, the predetermined future of the girl plummeting from the sky was no more.

  


  


The door beside Shokuhou slammed open.

At long last, the spiky-haired boy made it. 

As soon as he arrived, he stepped into a pool of blood. Shocked, the boy turned around and found the girl leaning against the wall. He did not know her, but he knew the blood came from her.

“Hey! Are you alright?” He kneeled beside her frantically, fists clenched in a mixture of surprise and anger.

“You’re here…” The girl looked at him as if looking at someone familiar.

She closed her eyes, then mustered all the strength in her body to pull at the emergency whistle tied around her neck, handing it to the real Kamijou Touma with trembling hands.

The boy’s hands immediately held onto the girl’s bloodied ones.

“Quick…help that person…”

She placed the blood-stained whistle in the boy’s palm, then pointed towards the girls who were battling at a distance. 

“Don’t let her die again…” she smiled. “It wasn’t easy for me to make it this far.” 

It was a smile to entrust someone important to him, a smile full of faith and hope.  
A smile that made the boy recall that of another girl he knew well.

The girl fainted before Kamijou could respond. Her hands were empty as she slid quietly onto the ground.

“I promise. I won’t let anyone die.” 

The boy who can become a hero for others stood up, holding tightly onto the emergency whistle that the girl gave him.  
More precisely, that the girl returned to him, even though at this time the boy could not yet comprehend its significance.   
But when the day comes, when the boy who wished for a world where everyone can smile is finally able to understand the meaning behind this, he would probably smile as well. 

Those were memories that existed in a summer past.

And beyond that, comes the girls’ future.

  


* * *

  


**Genesis.**

“Ahhhh, everything hurts. It feels more like I had a few hundred fights rather than a single one.”

The chestnut-haired girl said as she stretched in District 23’s international airport. No longer needing to wear a swimsuit or evening dress, she twisted her body without a care for her image, even cracking her joints a bit.

“Not that much,” the honey-blonde girl in a medical corset next to her responded quietly.  
“Mhm? Shokuhou, did you say something?”  
“Nope~☆”

The girl named Shokuhou playfully pointed at her own lips.  
“Maybe aging is taking its toll not only on Misaka-san’s figure, but also your hearing,” she smiled, hiding the emotions evident in her starry eyes. 

“Say what you want.”

To Shokuhou's surprise, her enemy Misaka didn’t argue back. Instead, she said something that gave her goosebumps.

“I don’t know why… I can’t believe I’m kind of happy when I see you.”

Shokuhou widened her eyes in shock.

“What do you mean ‘ _can’t believe_ ’? Misaka-san, that’s not very nice,” she winked at Misaka as soon as she was able to react.

“…in the past I would’ve been disgusted, but now I even find this cute. What the hell is going on???”

Misaka turned away and frustratedly messed with her own chestnut hair.  
At the end, though, she sighed. Her body relaxed, and her voice softened.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Nothing else matters as long as you’re okay.”

Shokuhou was speechless. A bit dumbfounded, she stared at the girl’s blushing face in silence. Right now, Misaka’s body was clean, with no blood, and very little wounds. The more seriously injured out of the two was actually Shokuhou herself, but…

“…you were the one who died over and over again,” she whispered in a volume that she thought only herself could hear. 

Startled, Misaka looked at Shokuhou. 

“What?”  
“Tsk tsk, Misaka-san really is aging prematurely! Would you like to call the doctor as well?”   
“Hm, full of secrets aren’t you?”   
“This is how it is for attractive women. Not that Misaka-san would know I suppose.”

Misaka just studied her quietly.

After what felt like an eternity, when Shokuhou could no longer bear her candid gaze, the girl finally smiled and nodded. Before Shokuhou could ask about the meaning behind this, the chestnut-haired girl extended her hand towards her - perhaps intentionally, or perhaps as an instinct developed over their countless repetitions.

“Let’s go home,” she said.

Shokuhou looked at the girl, unsure of how she should react.

But in the end, she smiled.  
Like Misaka said. _It doesn’t matter_. 

And so the girl placed her hand in the other’s. 

  


  


**Author's Note:**

> The title and many motifs from this story are from RAM WIRE’s [『僕らの手には何もないけど、』](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXpGWhdwXuo).
> 
> _Although our hands are empty  
>  in exchange I can hold your hand  
> so don't be troubled by things on your own  
> no matter what happens I won't let go_
> 
> The lyrics fit mikomisa and this story well.  
> Plus, it's a great song with an adorable and touching animated MV, so please do check it out! 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


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